Do you agree that human have expected life milestones?
I am not sure I totally agree that there are universal milestones to reach, but I thought to share my personal experiences using the milestone templates found on this website.
The website lists 12 points in human life that they consider very significant. I will share my experience at each milestone, and hope that this gets to be a way for readers to know get to know me. Here we go!
1. Opening Your First Paycheck
Oh yes!
This one gives joy.
I think I got my first paycheck during ASUU Strike of 2013. I was working as a Data Entry person at a firm, and was promoted to the manager of a subsidiary of the firm. That was good money.
2. Leaving Home
How do I describe leaving home? Does age count? Was I supposed to leave home temporarily or permanently? If temporarily counts, then it has to be when I left home for secondary school also known as junior high school. I was yet to be 10 years old when I left for a boarding school in a state different from where my family lived. For people familiar with Nigerian states, I was born in Lagos, and lived in Lagos with my family. I was offered a place at a Secondary school in Abeokuta, Ogun state, and had to leave home. I left with my sister, and that made the transition somewhat easier. We returned back home at half terms or at the end of the term every school year.
The first time I left home on longer was in 2015, and since then, I have not really returned home for more than a couple of months for research, or to visit my family. I had completed my National Youth Service Corp (NYSC) in Lagos, Nigeria, and had been offered admission to the prestigious University College London in Qatar to study towards a Masters degree in Conservation Science. This was a huge life moment for me, and it laid the foundation for my career, and academic pursuits abroad.
3. Falling in Love and Getting Your Heart Broken for the First Time
Love can indeed be experienced in several forms as written on the website. I have fallen in love, and had my share of heartbreaks. I really cannot remember the age I felt some sort of romantic emotion that could be described as love. I grew up in a very large group. I had friends from church, school and in the compound we lived. I was almost never by myself, constantly making friends and moving around in numbers. I am certain there were love triangles, exchanged letters, impromptu dates, shared lunches, and crushed hopes. My childhood and teenage years were fun! I have had very eventful growing up years with plenty stories for every phase.
4. Gaining Self-Awareness and Autonomy
This one is a bit tricky. When exactly did I gained self-awareness, or realize that I had total control over my life? I was raised to be independent, so I knew that I had control over several decisions and actions. My parents and grandmother helped to fine-tune my decisions and aspirations every time, but I was largely in charge almost always. I remember visiting a friend who lived in another part of Lagos by myself when I was very young. I got parental approval and all that, plus life was still very much valuable at the time. I also remember saving up, and starting a business before I was even 12 (I think). My Mum helped me procure the items for sale, and my grandmother created a section for me in her shop to accommodate my entrepreneurial self.
I think that my realization of autonomy became heightened around 2017 after my graduate studies, and that realization hit hard. on some days though, I still feel like a child waiting for another spark that reminds me of adulthood. And no, I cannot believe that I am as old as I am. I am in constant denial of my age.
5. Realizing Your Parents Are Real People
Okay, if this is a milestone,...
This must have happened at some point in my life that I absolutely cannot remember, but yes, I know my parents are real people.
6. Surviving Disappointment
I think that I have survived one too many disappointment in this short-long life of mine. In fact, across all life spheres, career, family education, everything!
I am still learning how to navigate managing disappointments. Do you have golden tips to share? Please share in the comments.
6. Experiencing a Different Culture
Yes! This one excites me so much. I have had the privilege to travel locally around Nigeria, and outside of my home country. Nigeria is on the list, because it is geographically vast, and culturally diverse. I share a bit about my travel experiences through food, and you can find it here.
8. Doing Something That Terrifies Us
If moving countries multiple times isn't scary, I don't know what is. I have definitely crossed this milestone.
I have done a lot of things that terrified me over the years. I have done these things out of necessity, curiosity, or adventure. PhD is scary, but here I am grinding towards this doctorate degree. I have initiated conversations with strangers many times. Some have gone awry, but more often than not, it goes well. I have tired water tunnels at fun parks recently, and I am very scared of the Ferris wheel, but I hope to try that sometime in the near future.
9. Dealing with the Death of a Loved One
Yes, I have lost important people in my life. I think the of the one that hit me in 2017. I was on the field when I heard of the sudden demise of someone who had come to mean a lot to me. He was the pastor of my church back home. His death hit me so much that I could not stop crying. This affected my performance on-site and yeah, it still is sad every time it crosses my mind.
I became familiar with death at a very young age. From losing my grandfather to the death of a classmate in primary school. My grandfather was an idol that could do no wrong in my eyes. When death claimed him, I was in shock and denial for the longest time as I received the news in school away from home. I do miss him, and sometime wish I could just see him again. The classmate's name was Chioma. Her mum friend meat pie and buns which she brought to school to share with us. We had graduated from school when I learnt of her passing. I could not really understand death and still cannot wrap my head around the fact that she died so young and was very kind.
10. Failing
Failure comes in many shapes and dimensions. I think that failure is quite subjective, and relative to the standards that we have set for ourselves. It could also be relative to social benchmarks that we ascribe to.
Overall, yes, I have failed at so many things, but does that make me a failure? No!
I have also succeeded at so many things, even beyond my wildest dreams. I mean, God gat me!
11. Hitting Rock Bottom
Yes I have, and recently so.
No thanks to the pandemic and family challenges, 2020 has been the most difficult year of my adult life. I did hit rock bottom that I struggled to get out of. I am thankful for grace, family and friends who supported me through this season.
12. Doing Something Selfless
I think that this is at the core of my being - I am empathetic and selfless. I have and continue to support young people on their personal and career paths, I volunteer with organizations who make the world easier for underserved populations, and I give money and my time to a number of causes. Giving is a blessing that I do not take for granted. The capacity and ability to help and support people around the world is a gift that I have received. My utmost aspiration is to be a source of blessing to the universe.
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